THE DARK MOTHER
Mothering through personal and collective shadow
~ a six month journey
The Dark Mother is a six-month journey exploring mothering through personal and collective shadow, within a tightly held container of sisterhood. Diving into the depths of our tenderness, our grief, our anger, our longing, we reclaim wholeness as Mother - together. Held by Xochi and guest facilitators Dr Sophie Brock, SimoneRita Egger and Adya, The Dark Mother is a safe and loving journey through all aspects of the underworld we swim in as we raise our children through the individual and collective lens.
Artwork: Danielle Noel
Beloved mamas - I am so happy to announce that this cherished journey is back, this time extended to a slower, gentler, more consistent and supported container, held by the arc of the Equinoxes as we cycle through the mid point of Winter Solstice here in the Northern Hemisphere. The deep drum beat of the Ancient Mother is vibrating across the earth: we are gathering from all corners of the world in this sacred work to love, to rest, to heal, to walk each other home in tender compassion and celebration of it all as we raise the next generation.
“I didn’t know how thirsty I was until I drank from the rich pool of shared resource that Xochi creates. Held in the soft arms of community, witnessed by fellow mothers who like you are still finding the words for what is rising within them. It is the only space I know that rests deeper than the superficial, surface level experience of motherhood. It pulls you into the power that can be unlocked from within your pain. It’s both fire and the softest blanket in your house”
“The Dark Mother is so incredibly poignant for the times that we are in. The collective depth of mother, the suffering, the silence, persecution, on a societal, outward world level - but also on an internal level.
For me personally, it’s allowed me the space to sit with that veil between what I considered to be effective parenting and that very thin veil of crossing over into that dark, darker, harsher terrain. And instead of sitting in judgment and shame, to explore: what is that about? Where am I in those moments? To have more curiosity about my own need as a human.
Thank you for the space, for the wisdom, for the acceptance, for drawing attention to who I am and what part I play in this web of woman, of mother, of human.”
We all know that mothering in these times leaves little room for an authentic and intimate exploration of the Shadow. The conscious mothering industry is saturated with perfectionistic light and bright tropes that leave little room for the authentic, deeply-feeling and very human mama.
We are told to be expansive, calm, patient, grounded, conscious, strong, always striving for better - while often carrying the lioness’ share of the family’s hearth-work - mostly alone. At the same time, what we are being initiated into collectively is unprecedented, as we are pressured beyond the hearth to undertake visible social activism, and absorb limitless and incessant imprints of human suffering and atrocity through our screens. External pressures, cultural expectations and a collective nervous system in rapid free fall can rock us - open wombs, milky breasts, tender hearts wide open - from the outside in.
Our grief, our anger, our exhaustion, our shame, our sensitivity, our limitations and losses: these are seen as something to be fixed, transcended, let go of, exiled. And yet: in its initiation into the darkest parts of our self and lineage, Motherhood holds precious keys to a much deeper wholeness as woman. She who knows Shadow intimately; she who sees the power of her fury, the beauty of her grief, the intelligence of her collapse. Just as there is no life without death, so the mothering journey brings us into a constant state of dying, shedding, composting and renewal.
When we reclaim this Matrescence Underworld, we reclaim our wholeness as women. We drop into the map of the body, unveiling the darkest corners, and release a vast river of stagnant energy. In finally ceasing to deny some of our truest and most potent parts, we reclaim that precious prana and we step into an incredibly profound compassion.
Now entering its second cycle after the success of the first container, THE DARK MOTHER is an offering at the altar of the Shadow of the maternal journey: a loving, kind and embodied deep dive into all aspects of the underworld we swim in as we raise our children through the individual and collective lens. This is an expertly held tribe of mamas who know that the shadow is inextricable from the depth of Mother; that owning these realms and their place in the body makes us wildly stronger women and mothers; that when we bring compassion, we can return to wholeness. And when we are whole, and rooted in our power, we can be the authentic anchor we long to be for our hearth and the precious ones it holds
“I am rewatching The Dark Mother and I am touched to tears each time I hear you talk about motherhood, it’s such a balm to the soul... I’m so grateful for the sessions that make me feel less alone.”
Mamas, I see you:
Mothering at once expands you beyond recognition, and brings you to edges that feel overwhelming
You know that claiming the fullness of this role is a potential key to deeper awakening on this path
You might already have a strong practice, spiritual foundation, sense of the reverence of the initiation of Matrescence… and yet the shaky ground of mothering has left you feeling tumbled and questioning all that came before
Your time and space to self-nurture and retreat has all but disappeared as you leave behind the Maiden
Perfectionist ideals of Mothering and nervous system overwhelm leave you feeling depleted, resentful, angry, less-than
No one told you about the grief
You long for small, daily anchors that bring you back into connection with your grounded, elemental self
You long to reconnect to your body in a gentle and intimate way
You long for connection but your relational fields can feel strained and overwhelming
You long to feel acknowledged, heard, supported, brilliant, noble, graceful, yummy
You find it hard to lay down your primal mama shield and open to true and deep vulnerability
You yearn for ceremony, ritual, to feel potent and held as the most radiant expression of the Mother archetype
Something needs to change or be refined in your relationship to your own shadow
The Dark Mother is calling you home in sisterhood, to the depths of wisdom that are every mother’s birthright
“As soon as I read the description of The Dark Mother series I knew it was what I needed. To have the dark, shadow parts of motherhood acknowledged which so rarely happens in our culture. I have felt a craving for that kind of witnessing since I gave birth to my son three years ago. In this container I felt truly seen by Xochi, the guides, and the other mothers in the circle. I felt such a sense of belonging, of togetherness. I was nervous to begin with as I have taken part in circles and similar spiritual containers that were not held safely - but this was not the case with this series.
Xochi brought so much compassion and authenticity to the space - she was honest, self-aware and also gentle, respectful and a calm and grounding presence. This circle was the nourishment I needed and I’m so glad I showed up for myself. ”
The Details:
Six month container, from Autumn Equinox 2024 (Spring in Southern Hemisphere) through to Spring Equinox 2025 (Autumn in Southern Hemisphere)
Eight chapters comprising discourse, practice / ritual, journal prompts, sharing and integration (dates for your diary below)
Live element held by Xochi with supporting content from guest facilitators
Dark Mother whatsapp support group
All content is recorded and available to watch in your own time
Guest Teachers:
dr sophie brock
Adya
Simonerita egger
CENTEHUA SAGE
“I loved that it wasn’t just a course and you tick the box and you’ve done the lessons and you move on and you forget. But actually teaching the strategies to breathe, and be compassionate, to move from head to heart, and to hold ourselves as much as we hold everybody else. To create ritual, to sit in silence, to speak into flames, to release. It’s so much deeper than trite self care.
It’s about belonging to self, and to the community of other women - and Xochi has such a gift for creating that very gentle shared space. The transitions are seamless, and that sense of togetherness profound.”
Chapters:
ARRIVAL
THE PERFECT MOTHER MYTH
TOUCHING OUR GRIEF through the portal of the body
DURGA and our sacred assignment
KALI and the Dark Goddess
MOTHER ANGER
BOUNDARIES & SENSITIVITY
DEPLETION, NURTURANCE, RENEWAL
Live Circle Dates:
All live sessions are from 11am to 12.30pm UK time, they are not compulsory and will be recorded and available to watch in your own time
September 24, 2024
October 8, 2024
October 29, 2024
November 12, 2024
November 19, 2024
December 10, 2024
December 31, 2024
January 28, 2025
February 11, 2025
February 25, 2025
March 11, 2025
March 25, 2025
Frequently Asked Questions:
This course can be experienced fully remotely through drip-fed content and recorded material. Live attendance is invited but catching up later is no obstacle whatsoever to receiving the full Dark Mother programme.
The journey is non-refundable.
We partake in this together from within active mothering - you can do the course from bed, from the kitchen, from the forest; joining the live sessions with your kids is welcome. We show up however we can.
Our sharing container is sacred, confidential and a safe non-judgmental space to speak your truth and be held in love there.
“Everything about The Dark Mother just touches me so deeply, how you transmute and share these messages and downloads - it’s so profound and beautiful, that opening of honouring ourselves as the goddess and just feeling our bodies and the tenderness of all that our breasts give our babies… and that reminder - I’m so grateful. I have tears streaming down my face… It’s such a reminder to always come back, and honestly I’m so grateful for everything you share to honour us as mothers because we are expected to be these multidimensional multi tasking whirlwinds of everything, and it just is a lot.”
“Xochi made me feel seen and heard, and invited me to welcome in all parts of me with compassion, even those parts which felt sticky or shameful. I can say with deep truth that my session was deeply healing and transformative, her wisdom is rooted in the wild feminine and held by Mother Earth. Xochi gave me permission to come back to my intuition and to the knowing that I have all the answers within. I went on to be a part of the Dark Mother course which has really helped shape the way in which I mother, and has given me permission to embrace the shadow side of mothering as a way to step into my authentic truth and power as a woman and as a mother. I am deeply grateful for Xochi’s wisdom and for her love.”
INVESTMENT
payment plan
scholarship
We have a limited number of scholarships available for mothers who would otherwise be unable to receive this work. Please write to us stating your current financial and family situation, what calls you to this journey, how you hope it will benefit you and anything else you’d like us to know: